As the days go by, I find myself settling into this new place. Today was the first true day off, with nothing scheduled, and no tasks to get done by a certain deadline. And my roommate, Katie, is house-sitting, so the apartment was empty, quiet, and...a bit lonely. It's hard to remove myself from all of the excitement of new places, new classes, new people, and new emotions. Sometimes, it just feels easier to keep going, push onward, keep doing, without taking the time to reflect, to enjoy. That wears me out, though.
So, I did nothing, all day, and it was all that I everything I hoped it would be. I finally got into the Glenstal Book of Prayer that my vagabond/world travelling roommate sent me from Ireland, and found it amazing. Liturgy is something I've never experienced on a regular basis, and even come to be wary of as a path towards a disinterested, cattle-esque people. But its true that beyond the formulas of words and ideas, or maybe even within them, is a thread that connects us to so many others - our ancestors in faith, and even, perhaps, the Divine. Knowing that even as I prayed the words on the page, others were reciting them with me, across time and across the globe, was especially enlightening. And in this weird time of being alone even though I'm with so many people, it is good to know that I am known, and that I am accompanied on the journey.
"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration - what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth,
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day."
- Psalm 139, from Eugene Peterson's The Message