Thursday, December 23, 2004

Addiction


MY ENEMY, ARCH NEMESIS, THE BAD GUY. Posted by Hello

This is what does me in, every holiday season. It's not the Christmas ham, the cookies and custard or the potato salad. It's not even the sausage balls or sweet and sour meatballs that I love. It's this little ziploc bag full of homemade Chex Party Mix. The devil incarnate, I tell you, incarnate in cheez doodles, pretzels, cheerios, rice chex, wheat chex and cashews.

I have a very serious addiction. I've been trying to kick the habit for years now, but it just won't die. Every year, my mom, grandma and aunt make huge batches, and every year, my body or my mind, I haven't quite figured out which yet, forces me to eat, eat, eat, eat until there simply is no more left to consume.

It's bad. I've been home for a week. There were four bags this size when I got here. Pictured is all that is left. Heartburn is a serious issue. Bloating from the sodium has set in. I don't even enjoy the taste anymore, and yet I eat. I eat it for breakfast, I eat it for lunch, I eat it in between when I get bored. For some reason, this particular bag is labeled "Pork Tenderloin." Even the tricky false labelling didn't throw me off, though, you see, because I am a Party Mix Addict.

I was on a twelve step. I limited my party mix consumption quite well. The fam brought me two big bags when they visited in October, and I valiantly left them at Joe's after the election party (you could say I was too distraught over the results to remember my precious fix, but that would just be wrong. Party mix is always foremost on my mind when it is in close proximity to my mouth).

But no longer. I've fallen off the wagon, relapsed, had a detour from the road to a party-mix-free life back to sodium cheez doodle land. I can't stop. And when this bag is gone, I know just where to find the huge tupperware tub in JoJo's garage. And then, I'm sure my aunt Susan has some left over from her party tonight. I'm not sure exactly how far I'll go to feed the addiction.

God help me. Or somebody hide the party mix.


1 comment:

matt said...

Wait a sec---that's not Pork Tenderloin!