Thursday, November 29, 2007

Only Almost Winter

I've been going crazy in my cubicle this week, and couldn't understand why. This morning, I came in and my tiny miniature rose bush had shed dry, brittle leaves all over my desk. The water I fed her the other day sat in a stagnant pool at the top of the pot, and her scraggly stems and thorns were a pitiful sight. I walked out to the coffee pot and mentioned the sad state of affairs. "Well," Bekah said, "Does it get any sunlight?" Oh. Now that you mention it, my cubicle IS rather flourescent. The window is high above my desk, and perpetually in the shade. No wonder the poor plant was foundering. No wonder I'm catching a case of cubicle stir-crazy. I wonder if office workers are at a high risk for things like scurvy due to lack of Vitamin D.

The radio DJs this morning were celebrating the arctic temperatures (today's high: 36) by sharing Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might be from Illinois If..." list. [Notice how even Jeff avoids naming the natives...Illinoisian? Illinoisite? Illini? No one knows.] The list, combined with our near brush with frostbite last night in a very drafty house, has me scared stiff.

You Might be from Illinois If...

- If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.
- You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, & It's Hot.

All these are true, apparently. The Dairy Queen down the street is boarded up, and I'm told that despite the plummeting temperatures, we have only begun the Almost Winter season. I'm steeling myself, and seriously considering the merits of hibernation.


Pastor Nicole said...

Oh, to be an Illinoisian! (yes, it is most definitely "Illinoisian").

Just'll feel better when the beautiful snow is swirling around on the streets, making you enjoy your cup of coffee more! Plus, who doesn't love to bundle up with cute hats, scarves, and gloves?!

Erin Miller said...

I'd have to disagree with nicole, though. Who DOES love bundling up and still freezing so badly that your nose runs when you go out to get the mail. no ... even KY is too far North for this former Illinoisian. :)

Brace yourself, my friend. The phrase from my last time of residence there was "butt-nasty cold."

Beth said...

So, all those "you might be from"s also work for Minnesota.
Just so you know.
I would also add:
... if you look forward to finding treasures when the snow melts around Easter, like your yard's own resurrection.


Fern said...

So when I read those I thought, " What? Dairy Queens stay open year round in some places? Insanity!" But the perk of all this snow is you can do the whole Gilmore Girls coffee and doughnuts at midnight (well I can't b/c I live in Hyde Park but you can).