Tuesday, August 23, 2011

dispatches from the land of tiny and hilarious cousins

The last week or so has been completely filled to overflowing with family time - a week at the beach with 14 of the Cassell/Stultz clan and a grand birthday cookout last night with the Belcher side thrown in. My family is nothing if not quotable, and these dispatches come from the ankle-biter set, a.k.a the hilarious tiny cousins.

1. My Dad's lawn decor is slowly growing to epic proportions. Don't be surprised if next time you drive by there's a giant Elvis in the yard or a big old couch on the porch. For now, he's filled his landscaping with colorful flamingos (yes, flamingos) in appropriate collegiate shades: maroon and orange for Virginia Tech, green and gold for William and Mary (but, they're multi-purpose: should we need to ascribe the family yard flamingo colors to our high school alma maters, maroon and orange for William Byrd and green and gold for Northside). Last night, the littlest of the cousins, Rebekka and Eva, followed me around to the front porch. "THOSE CHICKENS!" Eva shouted. "No, those aren't chickens," I corrected her, "they're FLAMINGOS!" "Yeah! Those MANGOS!" Eva shouted. Rebekka, climbing atop the green one, joined in, "MANGO!" Sadly, the lawn flamingo was not built to be ridden, and before she could enjoy it, Rebekka got stuck. "I NEED HELP! I'M STUCK ON THIS MANGO!"

Can that hilarity be topped? Oh, I think it can.

2. Leaving the house last night, six year old Alec got a little creative. The doorway was filled with chatting grown ups, hands full of bags and baby carriers. Alec was ready to go, so he ducked stealthily under baby Eli's carrier and lunged toward the screen door...and went right through, head first. He had completely busted out the screen, but he seemed unfazed. He wandered through the adults with stunned faces assessing the damage, back into the living room with hair a bit askew but otherwise perfectly fine. When they'd figured out the screen was done for and taken it out, frame and all, it was time to leave for real. Alec turned back towards the door - frame closed but empty - took one giant step out of it and exclaimed excitedly to himself: "It's like a PORTAL into another world!" It is, indeed. And you created it, kid. Think about THAT for a while.

Just wait. There's more.

3. On the way back from (an incredible) last seafood dinner at the beach, Eva and I were talking about our route from the restaurant to the beach house. "We go over the big bridge, and then we're on the island! And what's on the island, Eva?" "The beach house!" In typical two year old fashion, she needed us to repeat the directions approximately a dozen times during the course of the 30 minute ride. Over the bridge, onto the island, to the beach house. When we finally crossed over the bridge, I told her, "Okay, Eva, we went over the bridge and now we're ON the island. What's on the island?" Eva furrowed her brow and thought for a minute, threw her hands up in the air and said, with great joy, "BABY POLAR BEARS!"

I've since been informed that there is a particular episode of Dora the Explorer that does, in fact, feature baby polar bears on an island in the "ice ocean," but being as I am not an avid Dora fan, I had no clue in the moment. Baby polar bears, such an obvious answer for Eva, was just about as ridiculous as it could get for me, Bruce, and Bobby, who all laughed so hard that it took me a good couple of minutes to give Eva a high five for her highly advanced sense of the absurd.

Tiny, hilarious cousins. They're great.


bekah said...

ah - i needed that :)

Trisha said...

Thank you for writing about the most important stuff at your party: the antics of my grandchildren. Sorry I missed it.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha! Love these stories. And miss everyone already! You did forget a good one though. Next time, please include the "no, that's Dana Beth" one. ;)

Love, ashley